Conflict in a Marriage
Recently, Brian and I have been going through a difficult patch. Not uncommon in most marriages and not challenging our commitment to each other, but difficult nonetheless. Our differences in style and time management and personality traits (which has existed for 30+ years), now just seems to be a source of irritation. We’ve tried to talk through some of these issues, but haven’t been able (yet) to come to a “convergence of the minds”. Have you ever been there? We still love each other, but I confess that my heart is so unsettled when there is discord between, he and [...]
Staying Connected!
Recently, we met with a family that was looking to relocate to our area from out of state. They have a son with a disability and wanted to know about services and funding. His disability is quite different than Mary’s as his challenges are physical and Mary’s are primarily cognitive (and behavioral). Because of this and the fact that he is 17 years younger than Mary, we didn’t know all of the answers to their questions. But we knew people who did know the answers and quickly made some phone calls. We called our current supports’ coordinator as well as [...]
Christmas Blessings and Expectations
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year”. We’ve all heard that song and possibly, it is the most wonderful time of the year. It also is perhaps the most stressful time of the year for families who have a child with special needs. Worries about your child’s behavior at family gatherings, changes in routines and schedules and having your child out of school for 2 weeks can make the holidays difficult. Couple this with the expectations of how a “perfect” Christmas should be and, well, it is easy to become overwhelmed. Take a moment to consider that first Christmas. [...]
Siblings – Part 3
Sibling relationships are, well, complex. Our siblings can be our best friends, confidants, rivals or pain in the necks and often all at once. You add the dimension of a sibling with a disability and the relationships become even more complex. However, one of the questions most asked at our seminars, pertains to siblings. So, to write this series, we asked our grown children (Emily -29, Albert – 25) to give us their insights. In the past two blogs, we’ve shared the blessings and struggles that siblings have growing up in a family with a sibling with special needs. We [...]
Siblings – Part 2
Last week we wrote about the impact that having a sibling with special needs (SSN) has on our typically developing (TD)children. To write this week’s blog, we asked our TD children for their input. We asked them a few questions and we’d like to share their responses. Every child and every family are unique and certainly, their experiences are not necessarily the same as your TD children; but I think the responses are interesting and hopefully it might generate some discussion with your kids. Because both Emily (age 29) and Al (25) wrote long responses to the questions, we are [...]
Siblings – Part 1
Often when we give our marriage seminars, someone asks a question about siblings: “Would they be resentful of all of the extra time we devote to our child with special needs?’, “How much responsibility for their sibling with special needs should we place on them?”, “How do we find balance in our families?” This concern weighs heavily on parents; we know it did for us. Each family and every sibling are different, but as our “typically developing (TD)” children are now adults (Emily is 29, Albert is 25), we’ve had time to give this issue a lot of consideration. While [...]