We know it has been quite a while since our last blog. One of the reasons our lives became quite hectic over the last several weeks is that we moved! We moved from our family home of 20+ years where we raised our 3 children (and a dog) into a much smaller (and hopefully easier to take care of) home. So, all the sport’s equipment, children’s artwork, important files/papers, furniture, clothes, even paper clips had to be either, given (or sold) away, thrown away or packed in a box! We found moving this time around to be much more physically exhausting (probably just because we are getting old-er), but also emotionally challenging. Transitioning is hard. Even when the change has been thought out, planned and prayed for, going from the familiar to the unfamiliar can be difficult.
Through the years we have found that any type of transition was especially tough on our child with special needs (CSN), Mary. We have heard this similar observation from most parents we’ve talked to. Routine and familiarity lend stability to her world and when the routine is disrupted, or when she expects one thing, but experiences another; she can experience a fair amount of anxiety. This is compounded by the fact that she is non-verbal and can’t ask us a question concerning the changes around her. And truthfully, the best way to let us know about her anxiety is to act out behaviorally. It took us a while to figure this all out, but often an uptick of negative behaviors could be linked to periods of transition.
Changes and transitions, however, are a part of life. Some changes are necessary, some for the better, some are negative; but all changes for a CSN can be very difficult. Here are some things to consider as you face inevitable changes:
- Keep your child’s routine, diet, etc. as stable as possible even in the midst of a change.
- Explain the changes to your child (visiting relatives, taking a vacation, starting at a new school, moving); talk about what is happening even though you are not sure how much they are able to comprehend.
- Recognize that transitions are especially hard for your CSN, so have an extra measure of grace and patience for your child and yourself when these changes produce unwanted behaviors.
- Take comfort in the fact that even though our lives might at times be tumultuous, God never changes; His sovereignty, His attributes and most importantly His love for us stays the same.
Now back to unpacking the moving boxes. Hopefully, we’ll find our minds that we lost during the move in one of those boxes we’ve yet to unpack!
congratulations on your recent downsizing! You will love it and as you wrote, keeping Mary’s routine as normal as can be during this transition is so very wise. We miss seeing you but love these blogs from far away! We will see you this month so we are happy!
T and T