Our blog post is a little later than usual this week because for the past two days we, along with 1.5 million other people, have been evacuating the Carolina Coast ahead of Hurricane Florence.  During the past several days, we have been in a lot of traffic, waited in long gas lines and have watched entirely too much of the hurricane coverage on the Weather Channel! Although we certainly have prayed for God’s protection on the people and property in the Carolinas, we also heeded the warning signs and did what we needed to do to protect ourselves from the impending danger.  We brought everything inside, boarded up windows and followed the call to evacuate.

In order to preserve and protect what we love, we watch for and respond to the warning signs that danger is coming. Because our marriages are important, do we also look for the warning signs that it too might be in danger? What are some of those warning signs?

  • Has resentment and contempt replaced love and patience in your marriage?
  • Do you constantly argue over the same issues without any movement toward resolution?
  • Do you withhold information or lie, just to avoid a conflict with your spouse?
  • How intimate are you with your spouse (not just sex, but actions like snuggling, holding hands)?
  • How much talking do you do with your spouse, not nitpicking, or nagging, but talking about issues affecting the both of you?
  • Do you bicker in front of the kids?
  • Do you no longer trust one another or feel suspicious of each other?
  • Has either one of you reached out to an old boyfriend or girlfriend on social media?

All marriages experience difficulties and parenting a child with special needs does add stress to a marriage, but not addressing some of the warning signs might send your marriage down a path of resentment or indifference. The good news is that in most situations, we can alter the negative trajectory and return our marriages to one that is thriving. Perhaps you just need to decide to make your marriage a priority or commit to pray daily for your marriage.  Often a skilled marriage counselor is warranted to get you started on the right path. But as in any storm, you are wise to not ignore the warning signs that something needs to be done.

As the people of North and South Carolina are on our minds and in our prayers, we’d like to call to mind words that have helped countless people through the storms of their life. So, whether you are facing a literal hurricane or you feel like the wind, rain and surge is ready to overtake you, let these words from Psalm 46 comfort you. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

 

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