Facebook, I think, has changed how we live and think about ourselves. I love that I have been able to reconnect with old friends on FB and find out what is going on in their lives; but I hate the fact that looking at Facebook can also make us feel worse about our lives. Too often, we allow ourselves to compare our lives to those of our friends’ on Facebook, and we are led to believe that we come up woefully short. Everyone’s life “seems” more exciting and glamorous than ours. For those of us that stay at home with our Special Needs children, the reality is that it is tough, if not impossible for us to go on family ski trips, European vacations or romantic “get-aways” to the French Riviera. There is a real danger, however, in making comparisons. The Bible tells us, “But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Cor. 10:12 NKJV). But, it is normal to want to make wonderful memories with your family and have romantic and special times with your spouse.
Those special times that you have with your spouse don’t have to be glamorous or expensive to bring back the feelings you had when you were first dating … but you might have to be a bit creative. I’d like to share something that a friend of mine started to do with her husband. She found something that worked for her and her marriage.
My friend Janet really wanted to be able to set aside some time for her and her husband. So often we read articles on marriage that encourage a monthly “date night”, but for Janet, finding someone to watch her son with severe medical needs made going out at night really difficult. There were few people she could call on to stay with her son. But her son was away at school every day from 8-4. So, once a month, she and her husband went on a “date lunch”. Her husband went into work early and stayed a little later that day so that he could take a 3hr lunch. They went out to lunch and then either went to a movie or museum or maybe a long walk on a sunny day. They set aside time for each other and let each other know that their marriage was a priority. They also tried to steer their conversation during this time away from issues surrounding their son. This was a time to focus on each other. In addition to this idea working for them, they also found that the lunch date was a lot less expensive!
This idea may not be feasible for you, but I encourage you to find something that works for you, something that fits your life. And if it works for you, don’t worry about how it compares to what other people are doing.
We’d love to hear from you. Please use the “Leave A Comment” section of the blog below to share any ideas of how you and your spouse find time to be together. Your idea might just be what another couple is looking for!
